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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had this situation. I find it ridiculous when people assume you can force a kid. It can become violent. I’m sure there is a good reason the kid doesn’t want to be with that other parent and the other parent needs to address it. 
Again, good luck forcing a 17 yo boy. You might want to do pickup/drop off at the police station - just in case. 
You may end up with a runaway situation. [/quote]

You need to get your child intensive mental health treatment if you are dealing with violence, running away and more.  Ever consider your parenting plays a part in it too.

I have a teenage boy.  Yes, I force him to do all kinds of things and if he doesn't there are consequences.

Your child doesn't respect you.  Either your child is very mentally ill, your parenting sucks, or both.[/quote]

That's not it at all. I'm choosing not to force him to visit his father because it would take extreme levels of coercion and I don't think it will be beneficial in the long run for their relationship. The coercion would poison the relationship with his father and also my son's relationship with me. There are all kinds of things I require of my child, but this is not one of them. His father needs to repair the relationship by acting appropriately, and his failure to do so is not my problem to solve. Forcing my son into his father's physical presence does not actually solve the problem anyway. Try to focus on the relationships here, not moving a child around as if he's a piece of property.[/quote]

Dad cannot do anything without your support.  You are the problem.  [/quote]

Why can't he? Our agreement is he picks DS up from school at 5 pm on Fridays. I'm not even there. They can go ahead and have a nice time doing whatever they want. Or do you think my ex is such a terrible parent that he can't even do that without me cheerleading and gaslighting the kid into it? What does that say about my ex?

You need to think about whether the goal is to coerce the child to a physical location, or is it to have a genuine relationship.[/quote]

He can come and you can tell the child not to go with him and he'll listen to you over Dad.  Lets be real.  You tell the kid, Dad is coming at 5 PM, have a good tiem and see you when you get home.  Not, hey, Dad wants to see you at 5 PM but its your choice but don't forget you have to see your friends, the game, homework, etc.[/quote]

Well, kids do have those things, and a good parent would understand and be willing to spend time facilitating homework and social events on their "time". Just like I do on my time. There's no right that Dad Time be 100% free of any other activity that the kid might want to do and they just gaze into each other's eyes for 48 hours. If the dad refuses to support the kid having a normal life with homework, sports, and socializing, is it any wonder they have a bad relationship?

I'm also amazed you think I have that level of influence. If my ex is such a great parent, the kid would be willing to spend time with him and surely my saying "it's your choice" would not be an obstacle to that. [/quote]

You are just as much a problem as he is.  You don't dictate what dad does on his time, and he doesn't dictate what you do on your time.  If Dad only sees kid 1-2 days a month, kid should be with dad and not socializing.  You don't seem to get that.  You are trying everything to stop the relationship, you succeeded and now want to justify it.[/quote]

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