Reply to What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress.

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Reply to "What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress."

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PPs that have advocated for compassionate honesty.

Wait until your son comes home, because there is nothing he can do about the situation and it will only cause him angst/worry until Thanksgiving.

Tell him that DH wants a divorce and has left the home.  Tell him you were also shocked, hurt, surprised, blindsided, etc.

A college age kid is going to want to know why his dad would do something so out of character and disruptive to his live.  He is going to ask you.

It is absolutely okay to say that you discovered  an affair, and when you confronted DH he opted to leave. Your son is going to figure all this out anyway, and they are simple facts that will help him process what is happening.

Line up some therapy for your son before he gets back so he has someone professional and neutral to talk to about all of this.

Your son’s relationship with his dad is not your responsibility anymore. I’d make it clear to your son that you don’t expect nor want him to choose sides, that you will support his right to have a positive relationship with his dad, etc.  however, that is the extent of your responsibilities there.  [/quote]

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