Reply to do you let 10yo go to sleepovers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can teach your child that she has to be afraid of the world, afraid of others, afraid to leave home or you can teach her, in incremental amounts, that she has the inner resources to become her own person, strong and most of all in control.  Of course we can all come up with examples of kids who never went on sleepovers and grew up to be just fine.  But there are plenty of opposing examples as well, the kids who go to college and turn right around and come home, the kids with anxiety about leaving home, the kids who are so anxious on high school trips that are overnight that they cry the whole time while their classmates look at them like they are babies.  (These are all examples from real kids that I know).  And when the girls get together Monday morning with all their private jokes from the slumber party Saturday night, where will your DD be?  She'll be the one on the outs who missed all the fun.  And you wont know how that makes her feel but trust me, it sucks.

Then there was the classmate of my DD's (who is an older team) who was never allowed to go on sleepovers and developed an entire life that her parents were unaware of because they were so out of touch with what kids were really doing.  She became sexually active and involved with drugs with older kids when none of her friends -- the ones whose parents were so permissive they let them go to sleepovers -- were doing anything like that.

Kids need to separate slowly.  Thats the beauty of the overnight.  It allows a child to go to another home, feel the strength of that independence, and then return to her own home the next day.  I'll never forget how empowered both my kids felt after their first overnight.

And I'm not buying the cultural defense simply because my DD's AA and Latino friends participate in just as many overnights as everyone else.  That may be your perception, but I don't think it is the norm.[/quote]

How extreme! If my  DD doesn't go on sleepoveer she will turn to drugs? cry on HS trips? Turn around and come back from college? Give me a break.  I didn't go on overnights to my classmates homesas a 10 year old but had no problem leaving home to go to college, travelling the world, relocating to DC, and no, I never cried on HS trips.   Are you AA or Latino? No. So I am not buying your assertion that the handful that you do know means that it is not the norm. [/quote]
Crazy thing is that some people decide to focus on things other then worrying that the older brother is a secret pedo or that there is a meth lab in the basement. [/quote]

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