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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all the responses. I am very grateful to my mom and SIL for throwing this shower for me. I'm uncomfortable demanding they invite the in laws when apparently they don't want to. I feel like my place is to show up, open presents, and thank everyone profusely. No?

and yes, this is everyone's first grandchild and nephew on both sides.

I get along great with the in laws, no issue there. It's been suggested I owe DH an apology but I don't feel like I did anything wrong, except get caught between families. Thx again.[/quote]

You don't have to DEMAND.  But this is your MOTHER not some stranger.  Give her your MIL and SIL's addresses and politely ask that they be included since this baby is related to them too.  It is in NO WAY unreasonable or impolite of you to ask that they be included.  Frankly, it's pretty inconsiderate (or absent-minded) of your mother not to think that the other FIRST TIME grandmother might want to attend.  Are your mom or SIL not on good terms with your in laws?  Is your family exceedingly formal that you cannot ask?  I ask these things not to be cheeky but because this just does not seem like an unreasonable request AT ALL.  It's two people.  One of whom is the kid's grandmother and who your mother will presumably be sharing MANY occasions with because of said child.  Muster up your courage and do the right thing.  (BTW, if I were the MIL, I would be very hurt if I learned it happened and was NOT invited--I would think YOU didn't want me there.  Don't ruin your great relationship with them.)

For my baby shower across the country, my MIL and SIL were invited but didn't come.  For my baby shower here my mom (who lives across the country) was invited and came.  I just hosted a shower and invited about 10 people from the west coast including the mom to be's family.  This is standard. [/quote]

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