Reply to Things I can’t say IRL. I am in a DV group for women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a lawyer who comes from a family of lawyers and work with lawyers, etc.

The consensus is that sometimes the man is the aggressor, sometimes the woman is the aggressor yet she blames the man, and sometimes both are equally combative. I won’t go into details because I’m sure many clients might stumble on this post and recognize their crazy violent stories. Think: trying to run over your husband while taking his car…I’ll stop there.

Re: the OP - Any group like that will draw people stuck in victimhood, so I’m not dismissing your observation. I believe it. But it’s also human nature to judge others more harshly than yourself. Ever wonder what others think about you? I would just be pleasant around everyone. That doesn’t mean you need to be overly friendly—just don’t be rude or stand-offish.

And perhaps work on extricating yourself from the group as soon as you feel comfortable. You will be better served focused on forward-thinking resilience than dwelling on victimhood. Even if the group doesn’t focus on stories of abuse and is more focused on daily struggles, focusing on the negative won’t help as much as other activities. [/quote]

I think people haven’t followed the chain.

And yes, both men and women can be abusers or there can be mutual toxicity [/quote]

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