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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went to one of the top NYC privates and it's pretty much what was described above.

It can be fun to see former classmates and their parents in the news, which happens a lot. But you also see a lot of the a-holes you knew growing up doing well, and that's annoying.

My DH went to public schools in his small upper-middle class hometown then to UVA. 
He is smarter than me but I am better educated. That's not necessarily gotten me any further in life though.

I can fit in pretty easily with an old-money crowd and know the social customs, the clubs and schools spoken about. 
Again, it's not necessarily gotten me much farther in life.

As I mentioned on another thread, I have friends from these schools who are massreurs, follow Phish, are carpenters and potters. Going to these schools doesn't guarantee you anything in life or guarantee that you want to be in the rat race. [/quote]

can you tell us about the social customs?[/quote]

DP.  But what do you want to know about?  How to use the extra stuff that comes with the Victorian sterling that you use every day?  How to gently work class markers into conversation without being too obnoxious - IYKYK-style?  Understand how to ride, play lacrosse, crew, field hockey which aren't really that rare?  The Eton kid I knew was not British.  He had no obvious elite markers.  He once got embarrassed at me when he thought I was trying to take a picture of the tea spread at the Savoy.  But when I told him I wanted a photo of his wife, he calmed down (that was before phone cameras).  Wasn't sure why the prospect of my photographing food was so gauche to him.[/quote]

Np. I’m curious about the elite/class markers if you don’t mind sharing more. It’s fascinating![/quote]

I’m the poster who went to Andover.

Elite/class markers weren’t as prominent as you might have thought. My sister probably would be able to talk more about it at Horace Mann because it’s a day school.

Boarding school can hide a lot about where a kid is from and when you have 50% of the kids on FA, you do really get a range of kids.

I mean, I know how to handle myself in a high end department store (like Bergdorf), for example, but that’s because I grew up in Manhattan and my family has enough money to be able to afford to go there for clothes for nice occasions.

I went to school with MUCH richer kids, but they really weren’t that different from anyone else.[/quote]How do you handle yourself differently there than at Macy's or Ross? What's acceptable at Bergdorf but not at cheaper places, or vice versa?[/quote]

I’ll answer in case she doesn’t come back to answer. 
I don’t know the Ross store but you don’t conduct yourself any different than other departments stores.    I shop at Bergdorf sometimes along with Saks, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom and mall stores.    The high end store sales clerks get commission so they can be pushy.   Dress down so they don’t bother you as much.  It’s like any store, don’t be loud, don’t be eating, don’t have screaming kids.   [/quote]

Um, to shop at Macy’s and Ross you’re basically required to be loud, be eating, and bring screaming kids. Or you can be 75+, that works too. [/quote]

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