Reply to Giving more financial support to one kid and the others are angry

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Whatever isn’t locked up in a trust is yours to do with as you wish. I suggest that gifts/help that are for one child remain private between the child and the parent/grandparent, that money is never used to manipulate (You will attend Christmas or you won’t get any of my jewelry!), and that you let go of fair/equal. Do what you think is best. Heirs should be thankful to have an inheritance.

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But should adult children also be okay with having to support a parent after the parent throws their money away subsiding a sibling who makes bad choices? This isn't necessarily about an inheritance at all. It's about OP being aware of the long term and not burdening her successful children with her own bad planning and enabling.[/quote]
This strikes me as very transactional. Nevertheless, OP did not mention anything about spending down her assets dangerously low, or having deprived her other children. Our children are individuals with individual needs and wants. Do we give them identical gifts for Christmas? Everyone gets the same things? Or do we give them what they individually want/need? If someone feels strongly about dividing all assets equally, that’s their prerogative. As is dividing unequally. [/quote]

OP didn't say anything about assets or inheritance at all. Which makes me wonder if OP is secure and a good planner.

No, we don't give children what they want/need if in the big picture it's enabling dependence and poor choices. And I suspect that is what's going on here.

I think it's very reasonable for siblings to resent it when one sibling puts the parent's financial security in jeopardy. And I suspect that's what's going on here. Even if OP doesn't want to say it out loud.[/quote]

Sounds to me the siblings see writing on wall that parents helping to create a failure to launch/dependent that when parent gone will still be looking for handouts from relatives.[/quote]

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