Reply to Pulling kid from private because of low grades

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We moved our kid from public to private this year for HS. The additional expense is putting a strain on our household finances and is creating a fair amount of stress for us. We made it clear to the kid that we were willing to bear the expense but only if they put in the work that would be necessary to ace their classes. Suffice to say, that doesn’t seem to be happening. Grades thus far - early days to be fair - are middling and teachers are expressing concern about homework that is not being done on time and a lack of participation. The kid loves the school and would hate us (and possibly bear a grudge for a long time) for pulling them out and returning them to public, but the huge expense is really hard to justify if they aren’t pulling their weight. We’ll have a long chat and monitor the situation through at least the end of the year, but it’d be good to know how others handled similar situations. [/quote]

My kid was diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school so YMMV. Year 1, fortunately the school had something that if you were failing a class by the mid-quarter report, the student had to attend something for extra support.  I also started monitoring grades and missed assignments. Someone gave me the advice early on to keep on top of looking at least the first month so they don’t dig themselves into a hole. For my kid at least, they responded better to immediate consequences vs a far away someday sort of thing.  So if they were missing many assignments something they really wanted wouldn’t happen until assignments turned in even if late.  We always tried to focus on process vs outcome - completing homework, meeting with reachers for questions ahead of day due, seeking out peer tutors if struggling, figuring out effective studying including note taking, creating quizlets etc. They also attended a few executive functioning workshops.

Year 2, stopped the close monitoring of assignments and it was more sink or swim.  They did well for while and then it started to full apart near the end of first semester.  We were ready to send to public school the next semester.  That wasn’t what I wanted but to the pp point, they could not do well for free in public school and there would be more resources to support them.  That seemed to inspire a willingness to seek more support etc.  They turned it around with those additional supports. I don’t think you should drop close to six figures for your kid not to do well for multiple years unless you have money to burn.  But they need to be making progress in the behaviors and habits that can get them there and willing to ask for and accept help.[/quote]

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