Reply to Why does it feel like divorced friends always have a whole new life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like friends get split in the divorce. It depends who took custody of you.[/quote]

This. In the examples OP gave, her DH is friends with the ex-DH. Of course the woman won't feel comfortable hanging out now. A lot of people dislike their ex-spouse so much that they don't want anything to do with them, including old friends. [/quote]

DP. This dynamic is often even more difficult where the divorce happens because the exH did something bad.  I did not want to remain friends with his friends because either they knew he cheated on me repeatedly and did not tell me or they didn’t know, but since they were still friends with him, I would have to keep quiet about it in order to maintain friendship with them.  Continuing the friendship was just going to be really inauthentic, so I didn’t. [/quote]

Completely agree.  In most cases, shared friends tended to be people I initially knew through XH (spouses of work colleagues), and I just wanted to sever the link entirely.  I didn’t want to have to pretend (like he did) that it was an amicable separation and I didn’t want to be accused of interference with his job and I really, REALLY didn’t want to hear about his new life.

All of my other friends are still my friends – married, divorced, never married.  That part doesn’t matter to me.  They know I’m not after their partners and I have the same quiet life I had before.  No partying, no dating, just work and kids.[/quote]

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