Reply to Onlies born to older parents- seems unfair now

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m an only with parents in their 70s. My parents and in-laws all come from larger families of 4-6 kids. Even if not all of the offspring are married, that’s a lot of adults who should be able to chip in. In every case I observed, it was 1-2 people who provided 90% of the care for each grandparent in their last 3-8 years and if they were lucky 1 or 2 others would throw some money at the problem.

My spouse has siblings, but they both live on the opposite coast and his parents are a 3 hour Amtrak ride away in the massive, older home I doubt they will leave until they are forced to. When the time comes we will likely be spending a lot of time on the train or driving on 95 to take care of them. Thankfully we both work mostly remote.

My parents moved 20 min from me in their 60s to a townhouse they can age in place in for a while. If they have a similar lifespan as their own parents, the peak of their decline will coincide with my first 5 years as an empty nested when I plan to be ramping down my career. If they had me when they were 10 years older and their final years aligned with my peak earning years and kids in middle and high school, that would be harder.

The timing can suck no matter how you plan it - you really never know. I am glad I don’t have to coordinate decisions and finances with siblings. The burden of dealing with this alone - physically, mentally, and financially is a genuine concern that I discussed with my spouse before marriage. I am not saying it will be easy - caring for aging family never is under any circumstances - but being an only child does not automatically make it worse.

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