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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My best friend just let me know that my college boyfriend came out as trans. Mind you, this is someone I dated 20+ years ago but I’m a bit in shock. I myself am bi, so maybe this makes sense, but he never struck me as effeminate in any way.

Has anyone else btdt? How do I process this?

(I’m happily married and that relationship ended really poorly, but it was my first serious relationship and I’m just in shock right now) [/quote]

Well, not all women are effeminate so there’s that.

Also, they were probably really good at hiding it, for all the reasons that humans  needed to hide it 20 years ago, and continue to hide these feelings.  Maybe 20 years ago they had no idea they were trans, because most people didn’t have that literacy or understanding of what trans means or that it was an option.

How do you “process” it? What do you feel you need to process?

Maybe education would help. Read some books. I really liked the book “Both Sides Now”. Get some therapy. Try to figure out why you’re making this about what you need to process. [/quote]

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