Reply to I Opened Pandora's Box

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it seems that you are deeply ashamed of having a prior sexual partner, to the point that you are basically flagellating yourself to a pulp. This is something you need to work through and let go of - otherwise you won't be able to address this issue in your marriage with a clear head.
Your emotional reaction to this is way out of proportion to the event, and it just isn't healthy or rational.
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No, that's just an excuse to justify my inappropriate behavior. There was no reason for me to engage him in any conversation period- especially such an extended one.

Let's say I was just trying to be polite. Ok, still there is no excuse for me to let his compliments and all that get into my head. It was wrong, it was inappropriate, and I certainly would not be happy if my husband was the one doing that. Then on top of that, I let all these fantasies occupy my mind to the point where I am very distracted. There's just no justfying that. It was disrespecful.

I take my marriage very seriously. And I take full responsibility for my mistakes. I'd be hurt beyond belief if DH said he'd like to have sex with someone else. I can't blame anything but my own foolishness.

I am thinking about what the PP said on how to correct this. I must admit, she is probably right, but that's a tough pill to swallow. I don't know if I am there yet because I'd rather bury things than dig them up. But I do wonder, if the PP is still around... did you figure this out on your own, did you go to counseling, pray all the time...how did all of this come together?

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