Reply to Just found out my ex is trans

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gender dysphoria at a late age is extremely unusual, made even more so because OP had a relationship with this guy.[/quote]

There are many middle aged men who come out as trans mid-life. Many of them appear to be very masculine, had military careers, long marriages with children, etc. AGP is a very powerful motivator. [/quote]
This is what happened in my marriage. My husband didn’t disclose anything prior to getting married. He was masculine and started off his career in the military. I discovered later into the marriage he was secretly cross dressing. He has no desire to transition now because of our family but still struggles with gender issues. He admits it is all due to autogynephilia (agp) which is a paraphilia. It takes root when they are younger and unfortunately never goes away often times intensifying with age. Most activists pretend it isn’t a real thing but I assure you it very much is. It took him a while to admit this to himself because of the deep shame and embarrassment. It’s a horrible situation for wives to be put in.[/quote]

So, did your ex transition? You kind of left out the important bit.[/quote]
No he has not transitioned and does not have a desire to do so at this point in his life. He knows it wouldn’t be fair to me or the kids. [/quote]

Why would you want to stay with a closeted trans woman? Most marriages fail over something as mundane as money problems. This is a huge and valid reason to be divorced. You’re a straight woman in a queer marriage with a closeted trans woman. You should have the opportunity to find someone new and your partner should be able to transition and find someone that is interested in them as a trans woman. It was a lot harder to be trans 20 years ago and a lot of people didn’t even really understand what they were feeling. As they age as a man, they’re going to become more dysphoric and feel an even stronger need to transition. Would you rather be single now or in your 60’s?

You aren’t protecting your kids by keeping your marriage together. Many kids have out queer parents (especially in the DC metro area) and many have divorced parents. They will be fine. You’re preventing a transgender person from transitioning and being happy and you’re not giving yourself a chance to find someone new while you’re still young. [/quote]

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