Reply to Son (20) can fit in at large state school. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP.  I don't think men can escape drinking culture at college.  Unless you're at very specific schools like BYU or in some sort of special club. Maybe he should focus on the one frat that's academic enough and see if it works out, and if not, that's o.k.  Also, despite the weird vibes, people do drop out of frats if they don't work out.

Regarding running...I understand there are many physiological benefits for the people who really like all the track sports.  That is good to get back into that.  Good plan!

Maybe your kid could get a job at college?  Something where young people work, to see if it helps?  What if he offered to be a research assistant in the history department?  Maybe he professor would have ideas on how he could fit in better with the staff/befriend the grad students (if any).

A 3.5 is not bad for someone who feels blue. I've known kids who got everything in their lives back in order after utterly trashing freshman year. [/quote]

But it is much easier to escape the drinking culture at a smaller college, one where 50%+ of the students are NOT involved in greek life.  At most Big10 campuses, Greek life is a HUGE part of the social structure.

One of my kids went to a Jesuit school---greek life was not that big.  Sure everyone drank and knew how to party, but nothing on the level of Ohio State/Penn State.

Other kid is at a T40, private (non-religious) where only 20-25% of kids are in Greek Life--it's a school where literally 90% of them were Waitlisted at an Ivy/T25 (and many WL at several, some even admitted and chose to attend this school).  And the greek life is VERY different from your typical large state school (Big 10 School).  Extremely different.  My own kid joined a sorority (never thought I'd say that), and it's very different.  50% of her friends who rushed ended up in this sorority.  My kid dances---and half the sorority is dancers (not all dance majors but kids who continue their dancing in college), so my kid would be hanging out with these kids even if she didn't rush---these are literally her people.  Also, 75% of her sorority is premed, STEM, engineering focused as well.  They are known as being one of the nicer and "smarter" sororities on campus.  My kid's an engineering major.  So she literally found her people---and mainly did it to ensure great housing for sophomore year (it worked, got a Dingle and shared bathroom with just the RA, so 1 bathroom, 2 people and in a large double by herself).  
Only 1 or 2 sororities come close to having vibes of what you think of "traditional Rush"---where looks and pedigree are the most important aspects, and focus is more on drinking and partying culture. 
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