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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back to answer/respond to some of the common questions/comments.

[b]Why my parents live in the middle of nowhere[/b]
My parents were transferred to Alabama for work about 15 years ago and retired within the past year. They had lived in Auburn, which was difficult to get to for us, but had fun small town/college town stuff to do once we were there. They have never been city people, despite growing up themselves and raising us in the suburbs of Chicago. Auburn was much more their pace and they've been very happy with a slower, smaller lifestyle. Over the past few years, as they prepared for their retirement, my parents started looking for places to retire and I had tried to encourage them toward a major airport or a closer drive that would make it easier for us to get there. Places like Florida or the Carolinas or Atlanta, where my mom has some cousins. Ultimately, they bought a plot of land in rural Georgia sort of near Columbus off a county road with a scattering of other houses. It's not a lifestyle I would choose for myself or one that I really understand at all, but they like it and I'm happy for them. To go from blue collar factory worker to building their own house is huge for them and I'm so proud. That said, it's hard for us to get there.

[b]My relationship with my parents[/b]
Our relationship has always been a little awkward and strained. My parents have never been comfortable with emotions and it caused me to bottle up my feelings as a child in ways that I'm still working through as an adult. They have also admitted to never quite understanding me or my interests in reading, history, politics, living in a city, etc. They have always been proud of me, but never really known how to relate to me. My younger brother has always been their clear favorite, because he's very easygoing, athletic, outgoing, and a boy.

Over the years, I have gone through periods of calling my parents once or twice a week and also periods where I call them once a month. I am always the one to initiate contact, no matter how long it's been since our last phone call. Even the conversation I posted was the result of me calling them to say hi.

As a parent myself now, I am especially protective of my eldest (who is very emotional and struggles with anxiety) when we're around my parents, because they minimize her feelings when she's upset or sad, like they always did to me. At the same time, it's increasingly obvious that my younger daughter is picking up on the fact that she's not their favorite. My older one is quiet and content to sit and color for hours, which is more my parents' speed, so they'll often leave my younger one to play by herself (another situation I know from my childhood) while they both color or read with my eldest.

[b]Photo Sharing[/b]
Regarding posting pictures of our kids, we use one of those private photo sharing apps that our friends and relatives have access to. Posting pictures of my kids having fun with my ILs allows our friends and DH's extended family to see them all together. We don't post publicly on social media and ask everyone else to keep them off Facebook as well, so posting on this app is how our family gets to see our kids grow. When we went on vacation with my parents last year, I posted photos of them with the kids and got nothing but nice comments from my ILs in response.[/quote]

You need to be better with photo sharing: I live very far from family, and I have various threads for various family members/sides/groups. My in-laws would be so hurt seeing a lot of pics of my parents with the kids because they are not as close. My parents otoh love seeing pics of the kids with in-laws. You know how everyone feels, that your parents are sensitive, so why hurt them when you can avoid doing so easily?

And the coldness you describe is pretty typical of a lot of boomers due to how they were raised. They seem like fine, normal people.[/quote]
OP here. We're just going to have to agree to disagree about photo sharing. There are certainly benefits to text chains to share more personalized photos and life updates with close family and we have those text groups with both my parents and ILs. But the size and makeup of our extended family makes it impractical to share photos that way and doing so would exclude people, like our aunts, who signed up for monthly digests (rather than weekly or daily) from our photo app. We have a lot of family like this all over the country who we love deeply, but don't have a texting relationship with. Photo sharing apps like this are quite common and are a fantastic way for far away family to keep up with our kids without being on a text chain that's constantly pinging. My friends with smaller or more nuclear-focused families are more inclined toward text groups, while we and our friends with larger or more far-flung families, mostly use photo sharing apps. I wouldn't say that one approach is better or worse, just different modes for different needs.[/quote]
Don't listen to PP. You shouldn't have to hide photos like you're in witness protection. Absolutely absurd. [/quote]
Agreed. That person sounds like someone who would get "offended" by seeing grandchildren happy with other family members  :roll: [/quote]

I see this pov. I also see the pov that, if you know they get upset by it, it's really not that big of a deal to email or tet them pics separately. Not only would that be kinder for them -regardless of whether they should be offended or not, they are- but then you don't have to deal with the guilt trip. And, lbh, it's not THAT impractical. OP just doesn't want to do it. And that's fine. But that's their choice. Seems to be the problem could be handled easily but she's choosing to stand her ground as to the use of photo sharing. Whatever floats her boat, I guess.

Since you're firmly status quo, then your only options are confront or ignore. Not sure what else you're looking for here. [/quote]

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