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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't host looking for people to reciprocate. Often the people who don't reciprocate would be perfectly happy not to go to your house, dinner party, etc. My kids never asked for playdates and were happy at home w/ siblings or entertaining themselves. So if you don't like non-reciprocators, don't invite them anymore. Please, oh please, just stop posting on DCUM about it. [/quote]

If you're perfectly happy not go to someone's house or dinner party...why don't you just decline, then? So odd. You seem to imply their invitations are an imposition. You can always say no. [/quote]

Because I'm happy to go to the dinner party too. I'm fine either way. If you only want people to come to your parties, etc. who will reciprocate then stop inviting me after I don't reciprocate. Problem solved. Stop acting like reciprocation is a requirement...it's not. But, just so you know, you might lose some pretty good friends if you're going to keep score like this and insist on tit for tat. We have friends who host all the time. [b]We have never hosted them at our house in 10 years or gone out to dinner.[/b] However, there are other ways to reciprocate and be a good friend. First, when they host, we always bring something (usually homemade that I know the hosts don't like making themselves). Second, [b]we've helped this family in many other ways over the years...in a professional context,[/b] supporting their kid in various ways, etc. Plus, our kids have been very good friends for 10+ years. I'm pretty sure if you asked them, they would say we have had a strong, long-term friendship and they are glad they didn't cut us off because we don't like to host. So, I suggest you be a little more open-minded about friendships and what it means to be a good friend instead of looking for your next dinner invite.[/quote]

I guess to me, part of the definition of a friend is someone you socialize with. You say you've never hosted them, nor gone out to dinner with them. If they stopped inviting you, would you ever see them socially? It's nice to help someone professionally, but then I would call that a professional relationship, not a friendship. I want to hang out and have fun with my friends. Even if I like someone, if we don't do that, I wouldn't call them a friend. Just someone I know and like. [/quote]

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