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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with a PP that the two of you obviously have different financial priorities and probably different love languages. What does she appreciate as a gesture of love? It looks like she might appreciate gifts and you probably view them as wasteful, so she gifts them herself. Also, if she chose to give up a career even temporarily, to raise your child, I would give her some grace. While enjoyable, staying at home is drudgery, particularly if your husband doesn’t view it as work, and especially in the first years postpartum while your body recovers. Also, her career path will take a hit so you can consider this compensation. Are you willing to stay at home while she works? Are you aware of the costs that you would incur if she were still working - and additionally would you be willing to stay home when the baby is sick (which is constant when starting daycare) or take time off for appointments? I would quietly and seriously consider whether you fully appreciate your partner. And also consider what attracted you to her in the first place - it sounds like you would be a better match with someone practical and low maintenance who doesn't indulge in self care or put a lot of stock in appearance, but you chose someone who presents themself with nice hair/nails/stylish clothing etc, which raises more questions about you than her.

What does she have to say about your spending? Maybe she would prefer you go to a decent barber instead of great clips or dress a bit more stylishly instead of baggy suits or sad Kohls khakis? There are many attractive women in this area with frumpy husbands. In general, most healthy couples allow each other autonomy in deciding spending priorities, but agree on a general financial goal; that tends to work better than micromanaging spending decisions. My husband spends next to nothing on clothes, but he golfs and likes to go out with his buddies and drop your wife’s monthly “takeout” budget on drinks. The two of you need to agree on a reasonable savings goal with the understanding that the two of you are in the leaner years of raising kids, whether it’s on one income or 5-6 figures for childcare and other related expenses.[/quote]

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