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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Someday someone needs to write a book about the historic transition from neighborliness to paid labor. Every single thing now has become itemized and billed, grandparents don’t want to babysit for free, neighbors don’t want to water plants for free, everyone is paranoid looking over their shoulder for fear of being taken advantage of. And before you come at me, I am a SAHM who doesn’t use anyone’s services and am definitely taken advantage of by family members to petsit/housesit/help out with errands when I don’t myself don’t need these.

OP, you will become very free when you finally decide what you will do cheerfully out of kindness to another human being even if they are taking advantage of ought to pay. It’s not about them at all,[b] it’s about how you want to look back at your life on your deathbed.[/b] Were you hoarding love, resentful and taking out your ledger to account for everything people took? Or did you say f*** it, I will love people regardless of their intentions and maybe see what good comes to you when you are generous. [/quote]

It isn't an either or situation.  I doubt that the op at age 90 will look back and remember this kid at all unless she has to do this for five years![/quote]
Of course she won’t remember the kid (though he might remember her!), but she will think about the life she led and what type of person she was. And it’s your choice every day who you want to be at 90, a miser who counted every voluntary act as a debt owed by another, or as a generous, cheerful and loving woman who people remember for her kindness.[/quote]

Again it doesn't have to be so stark.  Just because someone is unable to help this mom in this situation does not mean she is NOT a generous, cheerful loving woman.     We all have limited time and energy so I don't consider it 'miserly' to know your limits.  It's ok as women to have boundaries!  For me, walking the kid home isn't the problem. The problem happens when there is no flexibility and it is seen as a given that I do it every day.  What if I am sick? Or my kids?  Or we have a doctor's appointment?  The person who is responsible for this child is his parents. Once in a while or an emergency fine but, it is not the job of op to do this every day.  It does NOT make her a bad person either.

Do you give you free time to every person who asks?  If so, are your needs or your families' needs unmet?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    [/quote]

Then talk to the other mom about flexibility…. tell her that you may have doc appointments or aftercare activities or whatever. This is really not hard. [/quote]

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