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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We recently had our first child and my wife wants to move back to the Midwest to be near family. Her preference would be Ann Arbor or Columbus. She can get a job anywhere, for me it's a little more difficult. I'm currently job hunting due to not being happy in my current position, and she's really pushing me to look in Ohio or Michigan. Moving to the Midwest just feels like we've failed, and I really don't want my child to grow up there. Before we had our child she had no desire to move, but now she wants to be near her siblings and she wants our child to grow up knowing their cousins. They will most likely be an only child, so I do understand that, but I really don't want to move. My wife would also rather have a nanny instead of daycare, but we can't afford that here. We would most likely be able to if we moved though. How do we navigate this? It's causing a lot of issues between us, and I don't know what the solution is. [/quote]

Go look at different areas.  Ann Arbor is great also check out Milwaukee suburbs, Whitefish Bay, Shorewood and Mequon.  You could also look at north suburbs of Chicago although those are just as expensive as DC.

My husband is from the Midwest and I’m from the East Coast.  We have a child and I wish we could move to the Midwest (can’t because of jobs).  Not being by family and cousins (no one on my side has kids in this generation other than me) is really hard.  My MIL and FiL were just in the hospital right after we visited and my husband had to go because my SIL did not have the bandwidth to help because they have 4 kids.

You don’t like your job so start looking for jobs in those areas.  Go spend a weekend at each place or drop your daughter off with your in laws and check out another midwestern city.  The schools are great and so easy to get appointments and sign kids up for activities.  My nephew just won state in a competitive sport  and he’s in elementary!  It helps that he can easily get into these activities.  As your child gets older it will be better to have that support system.  Moving to the Midwest is not failing!

I would move in a second (and years ago I would have said heck no) if we could both get careers in the midwestern area we like and have similar salaries.  My spouse was offered a job but it was a $60k cut and it didn’t make sense at all.

I would say if you live near family don’t live super close.  If we moved back we would like 20-25 minutes from my SIL and an hour from my in laws.  I grew up living 5 minutes from my entire maternal side and it was great as a kid but you could tell some of the adults didn’t love it.  Be close enough to be near family but not close enough that someone pops over without giving you at least a text before showing up.

I would go to counseling to talk it out.  According to another post you said she moved to the area for your job.  If you hate your job at least look in the Midwest.  Who cares about low interest rate when you can buy a house for less than in DC?!

I moved for my spouses job a lot including internationally.  Once we had kids we decided we had to do what was best for our child.

There is a lot going on in various midwestern cities.  [/quote]

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