Reply to Is it your DH’s job to protect you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, but why’d you run out of gas?[/quote]

Because OP failed to do her job.[/quote]

Right, bcause if society and gender norms dictate that it's safer for the man to do the manly protection jobs, then the woman has to do somehting.

I am saying this because I am angry about how it's actually true, not in this siutation but generally[/quote]

Why are you angry about this?

We have a pretty traditional relationship.  My job is to take care of the kids.  DH does stuff like this.  
 Frankly, and I wouldn’t say this in real life, DH is more expendable than I am right now.  If he dies, it’s incredibly sad, but we kind of move on.  He has a $3 million term life insurance policy.  
If I die, the inside baby dies too, and the other kids would really struggle. 
 [/quote]

I am angry because I would like to be able, in the context of my own marriage, to decide that I am not playing traditional gender norms just because society tells me I have to. If my husband and I agree that I shouldn't be the one to have to do all the traditional tasks of a woman, it seems unfair because those with more conservative approaches get to dictate what I do. 
But, because in situations like the gas, if this were serious: the woman SHOULD be watching the tank and planning, because she won't be able to do the more dangerous things - that is, unless you expect one partner (in this case, the man) to do it all. It makes me think about how it's easie for me to plan a playdate because the other people in "pretty traditional relationships" will reach out to me first, may be less comfortable interfacing with my husband. 
In other words, I want to decide along with my husband what our roles are, not traditional society. I don't live in the DC area but in my area, the fact that this isn't possible, has been a major downer in my life[/quote]

I’m the person you replied to. People don’t know your relationship roles or your comfort level with people of the opposite sex reaching out to your spouse. 
If your husband wants to set up playdates, then he should set them up with other men doing something active.  Men taking their kids fishing or sledding is normal.  One dude hanging out and gossiping with a bunch of women while the kids play on the playground is kind of weird.  
[/quote]

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