Reply to Having Kids Is Overrated and Most People Have No Idea Until It’s Way Too Late

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Reply to "Having Kids Is Overrated and Most People Have No Idea Until It’s Way Too Late"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. The thing is that if you’re responding before you have adult children, you don’t actually know where I’m coming from…just like I don’t know what it will be like having a 30 or 40 year old child.

I just saw a post on here by a parent with a newborn who is mad at their mom or MIL for doing things like giving their kid a pacifier and they want to know if all parents just become annoying once they become grandparents. They’ve totally forgotten how their mom/mil was once where they are. [/quote]

NP here. Sure, but this is like saying you won’t know if your marriage actually worked out until you divorce or one of you dies. So therefore people shouldn’t get married. There’s no way to know how any human relationship will pan out over decades. [/quote]

OP. You’re right. I just remember when I was pregnant and all the things I thought about and I just never thought about being a parent to an adult child. It was so far in the future. But there’s so much MORE of that parenting for most people (unless you unfortunately pass away when you’re young) and we never really talk about that when we talk about having kids. It makes sense. Nobody likes to think about getting old. And it’s hard for people to accurately imagine their futures. [/quote]

I don't know-- I feel like I did think about being a parent to am adult before I had kids. And a teen and a tween and a kid and a toddler and a baby. The whole thing. I do not think I just though about having a baby and stopped there. I thought about the whole experience and decided I was up for it. And I think taking a long view also made the hard early years easier (I knew they were temporary) and while my kid isn't out if the house yet I am trying to do things now to set us up for a good relationship when that happens. I also try to remember that when she seems ungrateful or difficult, that's not really a referendum on our relationship. It's a moment in time.

I just think the key is to never give up on them. It's hard to think if any other human experience as profound as raising a person from a tiny infant into adulthood. It is not easy and it's not always fun but it feels completely worth it to me.[/quote]

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