Reply to My husband has absolutely 0 ambition or discipline

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My husband has absolutely 0 ambition or discipline "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I know a few couples like this. It can work very well if the wife wants to lean in professionally and the husband takes over the home life fully, including the mental load of the house and kids. There is no reason why men can’t be great SAHP and/or primary caregivers.

That said, it works terribly once there are kids involved if the wife is still carrying the mental load and the husband ends up being a glorified babysitter (not nanny, just babysitter). I’ve seen those marriages end in divorce or with a really miserable wife and unhappy marriage.

PPs are correct that usually this happens because of untreated mental health issues in the husband. Severe ADHD, anxiety, etc. Things that can fly under the radar easier than depression before life gets more complicated and harder.

PPs are also correct to caution you against having a child with this man with the concerns you raise. 100% of the time this dynamic gets stressed and turns into a marital crisis once the wife realizes she’s supporting and running the household alone, with the added burden of the husband being one more thing that needs attention and effort from her.

A few things to ask yourself. 
How would you feel about divorcing after having a baby? Is this realistically your last chance for a baby and it’s better to go through IVF then deal with  what comes? I’ve been through IVF, no judgement from me if that’s the case.
Currently, who makes dinner? Meal plans and grocery shops? Does the daily cleaning tasks? Does he push back when asked to help or do something? Those are all home tasks that will multiply by a thousand when you have kid(s). If he’s not doing any of it now, he’s not going to do all of the baby tasks or house tasks later.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics