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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Divorced, single moms usually create bizarre codependencies with their kids, especially their daughters. Saying it out loud is not the problem--it's the reliance on them for emotional support that is the issue. [/quote]
+1
There is nothing wrong with "liking your child" as a pp tried to defend her incestual co-dependent relationship with her child. But to the degree that these people take it is too far and extremely unhealthy. [/quote]

But OP didn't say that this woman is relying on her kids for emotional support. She's taking them to amusement parks and enjoying their time there together as a family.

You also don't have to be divorced or call your kids your "best friends" to have co-dependent relationships with them. I was co-dependent with my mom for a long time even though she and my dad are still married and my mom doesn't even seem to like me sometimes. She certainly would never describe me as her best friend. But she got married very young and my dad offers zero emotional support. She's also from an abusive background. She turned me into her therapist and I was where she dumped all her negative feelings about herself and her own life. When I finally had the chance I moved as far away as possible in order to create some boundaries and have my own life but I still struggle with the impact of that experience -- I still find myself drawn into relationships with co-dependent people who want to use me because it's what is familiar to me.

I don't get that vibe at all from what OP is describing. It's okay to enjoy spending time with your kids and to really like them. You can even call them your best friends. [b]The issue is whether you force your kids into emotional support roles [/b]and whether you engage in relationship reversals with them where you are the child and they are the parent who supports and validates you. That's what is dangerous and it has nothing to do with being divorced or not or [b]whether or not you describe your kids as best friends.[/b][/quote]
You don't see any possibility of overlap between parents who call their kids their best friends and parents who use their children as this type of support? C'mon. [/quote]

Honestly -- no. [b]The people I know who call their kids their best friends are mature people who are family oriented and have good boundaries generally[/b]. When they say this they literally just mean "I really like spending time with my kids." They all have adult friends and their own lives and are not living through their kids. They just really like them.

I also know people who would never call their kids their best friends but who have weird enmeshment and codependency. Like my aunt who will not allow her teenage son to play a sport at school because she needs him available on weekends to help around the house. Or the high school friend who talks about her sons (who she had when she was a teenager) like they are surrogate husbands (but never calls them her friends or buddies).

I think a lot of you are reading way too much into this -- I think it's just something parents say to express how much they enjoy their kids and not some sign of a nefarious or unhealthy relationship.[/quote]
LOL! Hard disagree to the bolded. But you sound like you're speaking about yourself, so of course you're going to defend your enmeshed creepy family style. [/quote]

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