Reply to Who did you name as your children’s guardian in case you die?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have to do it. We wrote and signed a letter, but it’s nothing official. Our families live abroad. Our kids would go to my parents who regularly take them for weeks in the summer. They are late 60s and our kids are 11, 9 and 5. I cannot see my eldest taking care of her younger siblings, but I can definitely see my middle child taking care of both younger and older sibling. [/quote]

My brother would also take them, but he is currently a single dad going through a divorce. He has one child. We might have him become guardian once his life is a bit more stable.
DH has very old parents that are not close to our kids and 3 siblings that are not suitable for different reasons.[/quote]

Everyone trying to micromanage what would happen in an unthinkable tragedy is just missing the point. If you and your spouse suddenly died, obviously the brother would step up. Testamentary guardianship is not some kind of prize you give a relative for conducting their lives currently in the way you think is best. J[b]ust pick the closest relative you think cares the most about your kids who doesn’t have any true impediments to parenting, and be done with it.[/b] It’s more important to think through estate issues to make sure that things are set up so kids’ guardians get access to money to care for them but can’t steal it all. [/quote]

I think there are quite a few posters here, including myself, who do not have the bolded. My mom is married to a groomer (not my Dad). My Dad is incapable of raising children and abandoned my 10-year-old brother for weeks on end when he had custody. My MIL has dementia. My FIL is a workaholic and is incapable of thinking of anyone but himself. Literally, has never come to my kids' games, does not call him on his birthday or give a gift, spends no 1:1 time with him, etc. He told my husband when he was 18 that if anything happens, he's on his own but that hed be available Sunday evenings if anything came up. His Dad would not return his phone calls or messages until Sunday evening. He lives within 20 miles of our house.

The money part isnt the issue, its the care part.

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