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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gross topic, I know. I'm a terrible person. I hate myself, too.

I'm 34, stuck in a marriage with a man who wants a mommy to care for him. I can't divorce him without losing half of my time with my kid. I'm the financial breadwinner. He hasn't taken me on a date in 5 years. [b]He won't book a plane ticket or a vacation unless I do it for him, and all he has to do is show up at the airport. He couldn't tell you where to buy our child's uniform for the fall. He has never scheduled a doctor or dentist appointment; I do it all and manage the bills, groceries, cooking, and cleaning independently. I work full-time, have a contracting gig on the side, and am working on my master's degree.[/b] He has no interest in advancement, higher education, politics, art, or culture. He was hot when I met him at 25, and he was 30, but the lust is gone now. On our wedding day, he told his mother: "It's ok, Mom, Larla will take care of me now..."

I wish to find a 55-year-old man with adult children who wants a travel partner/lover without commitment to a relationship or entanglement. I can't go on dating apps without someone recognizing me; there's no way I would engage in a work affair. I wish I could find someone interested in the same things I am. My husband doesn't read.[/quote]

If your husband is this much of a manbaby, he's eventually going to give up on 50/50 custody.  So I think you should divorce him comfortably knowing pretty soon you will have all your time with your kids.  Unless all this is really about is wanting some strange on the side.  Sorry OP.[/quote]

He’s had mommy or wifey take care of him his whole life. He isn’t going to suddenly become dad of the year. He may step it up in the beginning but eventually he’ll be asking if you can take extra days and it will be a slow slide into maybe 80% / 20%.

You use that time he does have his kids to do all the traveling and banging your new guy. And then you can enjoy it, not having to engage in self loathing (you admitted in your OP you feel gross and hate yourself). Then you can go on apps and see what is out there. Do it now while you’re still young enough to have many years left to enjoy. It will be stressful at first but then your load will be lighter without him to take care of.[/quote]

If OP goes this route, it's still going to be a long time before she's divorced, custody is arranged and she's out there, kid-free and banging a new guy. If the DH decides to fight her on divorce or custody or financially it'll be even longer. Do not underestimate a supposedly checked out or loser DH who's faced with a divorce. Not all of them just cave in and make it easy or quick like you're assuming her DH will. [/quote]

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