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[quote=Anonymous]
NP. OP, I'm not clear on this: If you're already swamped with career job plus side gig plus graduate degree program plus arranging your kid's entire life from school uniforms to dentist appointments -- how on Earth do you expect time will magically appear for you to have this affair and [checks notes]...travel with Mr. No-Strings?

Asking seriously and without snark. Do you genuinely and seriously think this would happen like you're picturing? I suspect you're tossing out "55" due to thinking this AP would be free of kid entanglements of his own by then, and you've added a list of cultured habits and love of travel...in other words, the things you like and want to do with someone and which DH doesn't do. You've created an idealized AP, a shopping list, and others here (where there is great love for telling OPs how to cheat) are urging you to plug that list into a dating app or website.

You're after a companion; those apps and sites are going to be full of men looking for sex, not looking to travel with you to do cultured stuff. Sure, they'll sell you on the idea that they want all the cultured chitchat and shared adventure, but they want sex, and after a while you'll be back online finding another sex partner.

And all that is if you can magically create extra time. And if you already Do It All for your child and are in grad school etc. -- when exactly do you plan to conduct an affair that is anything more than an occasional quick, furtive screw, and not in some fun travel location, but near home, because you have to get to class, work on a paper, pick up your child....?

I'm sounding harsh but the point is: You're venting your fantasy here. Venting's fine. But as a PP noted: Take all the energy you'd expend trying to make that fantasy real (and ending up with just sex with some dude who may have lied about the whole unattached, cultured, travel thing anyway, just to get to the sex), and expend that same energy in either

(1) arranging a divorce --and suck up the fact your DH will get at least 50/50 custody, or 
(2) [i]actually telling your DH what you told us strangers.[/i] I have zero idea whether you've even truly communicated your deep and understandable frustrations to him. If you say you have but it's been piecemeal, or you've expected he would just "get it," well, that's not the communication you and he need. [/quote]

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