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[quote=Anonymous]Dearest OP, I could have written everything you described verbabim (except no SSRI here).
I have two kids, the first one left in September and it's been hard. Two deaths in the family, a lot of family drama, job loss and accepting a less than stellar position had me in the doldrums since last September.
Try as I might to remind myself how lucky I am - and truly I am lucky, my kids have been really great kids, high achieving, very gratifying people to parent, we are all in good health, I revived my career after a long SAHM-hood, financially solid, ex-DH and I get along very well - try as I might to remind myself of these things I still feel so depressed.

I live in the same neighborhood where I went to college and it is a stark reminder of how different this stage of life is. 30 years ago I walked these blocks feeling like anything and everything was possible, there was so much of life still to unfold. Now, especially after the recent passing of family members, life feels suddenly shortened. It seems that much of life has already unfolded. What else is there ahead?

I know that I feel this way because of the charmed luck I have had. I think of the women I've met who hit this age without experiencing marriage, children, and worse yet - job loss. They don't feel the heartache because they aren't closing a huge chapter of their life. Motherhood was intense. Those were deep relationships with the kids and I was extremely busy. I didn't know it then, but I know now how happy and fulfilling those years were for me. And that is why it has been so hard.

Maybe we're in the bottom of the U curve of life. Supposedly it can only get better from here.
I have always exercised a lot and it does help with this, but it's merely a temporary escape. Once I'm showered up and at my less than stellar job I am reminded of the diminished options ahead.

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