Reply to How to get through to DH that doing 80% doesn't count?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I try really hard to give my DH partial credit.

He’s never ever going to turn into the partner I thought he was going to be, and I’ve tried really hard to let it go. [/quote]

This is what I do too. It’s impossible to compel another adult to do things, and when I point out the work that didn’t get done, somehow I’m the shrew. I got tired of being considered “the problem”.[/quote]

this is me too. when I bite my tongue because I see items from the dishwasher "still drying" I remind myself of the things he does around the house that I hate doing, or other ways he takes care of me. I'm not perfect either and I feel it's better in the long run to let some things slide[/quote]

Why is “still drying” in quotes?  Do you insist that dishes must be put away immediately?  If yes, that’s definitely a “you” problem, and I’d tell you to do it yourself if it matters to you that much.[/quote]

DP but is this one person repeatedly insisting that doing some portion of a task is a huge contribution?  Because moving things from the dishwasher to the counter is not actually completing the chore of "empty the dishwasher" - putting the dishes away is.

I think everyone is guilty of half-assing it here or there and it's important to give grace and remember you're not perfect.  But if one partner is literally doing this for every single household task, they're treating the other as a maid to follow behind them and clean up messes.  And that's no way to exist in the world, regardless of you caping for them in the comments with "if you want to live in a house where anything is complete, that's a you problem!  Do literally every single thing yourself!  Freeloading is logical!"[/quote]

I can only speak for myself, but my routine in the morning is to put away the dishes from the dishwasher that are fully dry, and put the dishes that are NOT fully dry (and there are always some of these) on the dish rack on the counter.  I will put them away later, when they’re dry.  I feel no desire to towel dry them, and if my husband (who did not empty the dishwasher) has an issue with them being out for a few hours, he knows where the towels are and where the cabinets are.  Otherwise, yeah, I’ll get to  them when I get to them.[/quote]

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