Reply to Starting a new WFH job at 18 weeks and need to disclose medical appointments right away

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[quote=Anonymous]You need to let your manager know today that you are pregnant and that you have a required appointment that will overlap part of training so you will be late for training that day.  It it understandable that you lied about your availability to date.  Yes, you lied.  You knew full well you would need at a minimum an ultrasound at 20 weeks and that due to a high risk pregnancy, that you would have medical obligations that would increase from weeks 20-40.  You also knew that your OBGYN practice had no evening hours.  So, not mentioning conflicts earlier in the hiring process is an actual lie no matter how you want to couch it in your mind.

The best time to reveal a pregnancy in this situation is after you get the offer letter and before you start.  By law, they cannot rescind the offer due to your pregnancy, you are protected by EEO laws.  But you then need to be open about your appointments.  Right now, you are walking a very thin line and being fired is on both sides of the line, so you have to tread very, very carefully.  You need to be open, at least to your manager, about your situation.  You need to keep him/her in the loop about when you will be out, how you will make up for what is missing, and how you will manage your commitment to the job around your pregnancy.  But trying to hide a pregnancy that is past the 20th week is virtually impossible, even when you are fully remote and no one can see your physical changes.  Doctors appointments and complications, especially in a high risk pregnancy inevitably get flagged and will cause bigger problems if the employer finds out that you've been hiding it than if you were open about it and made work plans accordingly.

So, that means being open about how much leave you plan to take for birth (within reason).   And you need to figure out plans B, C, D and E to make sure you have coverage after the birth for any eventuality.  If your child is going to any form of daycare, then you can assume your child will be sick off and on through the first year.  Although not guaranteed, the majority of kids who go into shared care will have their immune systems tested form day 1.  Inevitably, they will be exposed to something that their newborn immune system cannot handle.  As their immune system develops, it will happen less and less often.  But this will happen.  So, if your child is in daycare, what are your backup plans to work, when your child is sick and cannot go to daycare?  One of the biggest mistakes that new parents make is to try to work and care for their infant at home.  There is no way to do that with a sick infant.  If you find multiple backups to your regular child care especially for times when your baby is sick, then you can let your work know that you have backup care lined up and that the baby will not impact your ability to work and do your job, which is the bottom line that most employers want.[/quote]

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