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[quote=Anonymous]You should try not to go before a judge to determine your civil life  
1- It’s insanely expensive 
2- the judge makes decisions when everyone is on their worst behavior
3- going through change is really hard…  people change at different rates — 
 you can do a lot yourself and should try to make an agreement,  first yourself as a private citizen  
4-  Lawyers egg you on and make things worse. Ask any court house staff 
5- not being a strong man builds good will over time , even if the person is too short sighted to recognize it at first 
6- have faith in the original person you married: this is the craziest thing  right??! The idea is that you no longer recognize or care for that person — but that person cares for your mutual child . You might not agree? But guess what ? The standard is actually how the kid is doing.
7- Most kids do well w ith access to two parents . Your child is  not the exception

Hard to hear isn’t it? — experienced poster , who went through hell and made it back to tell about it [/quote]

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