Reply to If you "tiger mom'd" your kids, how did they turn out in college (and beyond)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not aware of anyone who admits being a true tiger parent, and I am not one , so I would not know. However, I am aware of many many snowplow parents: push teachers to let them into the highest level of something, complain about high school(or middle school) grading, complain about kid not getting first chair(and complain so much the head music teacher asks the actual first chair to give it up), write the essays for them because they say the kid cannot write them correctly, open and manage all the portals for them (after making them apply to 20 million super reaches)……the kids of Every . Single. One. Has floundered in college. Some only temporarily, some more severely and dropped out. Only one of them landed at a Top20, but the rest landed T30-40. [/quote]

Of course they will "flounder in college".  Because none of that was kid driven.  
Staring in ES we taught our kids to advocate for themselves (stepping in as appropriate).  By HS they managed everything themselves with just a bit of guidance/checking in from parents.  We only dealt with teachers/staff when our kid was not succeeding and the issues were real (teacher bullying the kid, not listening when kid is asking for help, etc---our kids had tried and the adults involved were not rising to the occasion, so we sometimes had to step in and help)

we would never complain if our kid wasn't 1st chair---we'd tell them to practice more, offer them private lessons (if they wanted it) and encourage them to strive to do better the next time.

My kids wrote all of their essays in school and for college applications.  Yes, we hired a College counselor to help with the process---they only helped with brainstorming and actual editing---our kids did all the work and had to be 110% involved in everything.  I cannot imagine writing an essay for my kid at any stage of life.

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