Reply to If you "tiger mom'd" your kids, how did they turn out in college (and beyond)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think I am a tiger mom, but most people would say I am not. I push my kids, but I don't think that Kumon or "prestigious" summer programs (which to be clear, I think have their own benefits but college admission chances are not one of them).

I push them when it comes to what I think matters. Grades, rigor, discipline in their ECs (they cannot quit their core activities and we do the supplemental outside of school stuff only if beneficial to improving). Also being a polite and kinds person is important for life and yes I also think it is helpful professionally and academically.

I'm also extremely loving. So that may not be your definition of a tiger mom. But, I know that if they work hard, they can get near perfect grades in demanding classes, so that's what I expect. Also important to parent the child you have. One of my kids will likely achieve "better" than the other. That's fine. I want that kid to do the best that they can do. Even if that's not a T10, T30 or whatever, that doesn't mean I'm not going to push him. I think it's the journey of pushing yourself in high school that reaps benefits for years to come. Not the college outcome.[/quote]

Then you obviously do NOT have a kid who you simply cannot push.  Had one who was not diagnosed with ADHD until college.  But was diagnosed with learning issues and complete lack of Exec Functioning.  We got them the help they needed to address this in ES/MS/HS.  But we could only "push so much".  Go too far and they'd just shut down and you would kill their self esteem.  So it's walking a fine line.

Said kid had huge adjustment to college, but graduated in 4 years from a good school (T100---kid had 3.5UW, no AP, 1200 SAT, so good but not stellar student).  Got a job and never plans to return to school.  They are doing well, they are happy and enjoying life.  Will they ever hold a high powered position making $500K+?  Likely not.  Are they happy and excelling at life?  Yes they are---they are getting raises of over 10% which for their industry in last few years is big (many are laying off).

But if I had attempted to tiger mom them in ES/MS/HS it would have had detrimental mental health repricusions
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