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[quote=Anonymous]It was a hard decision. I made the decision when I realized that even if it meant being single for the rest of my life and my lifestyle went down a notch, I would be better off.

I could not stay in a marriage with an abusive man who would take all the credit for the good things, none of the blame for the bad things, and was unsupportive. Unsupportive meaning he wanted our kids to do well and get into great colleges, but did not want to do the work that it takes to get them there. And he wanted a higher household income, which of course required me to work, but wouldn’t handle any of the childcare or household logistics that allowed me to do so. And if I asked him for help, he’d be “tired”. And at the end of the day, most of the money was “his” even though we started the marriage with nothing at all and I made his path easy by taking care of all the kid stuff.

When I realized that nothing would change, that is when I made the decision.

I know women who stay for lifestyle things like being able to afford nice trips and lots of activities for their kids. I HOPE in those situations the marriage isn’t really that bad. If women stay in an abusive marriage in order to afford extras, they are modeling terrible things for their kids.

It is so much better to live a simpler life without the stress of constantly walking on eggshells. Sure, if I had stayed married we’d have a fancier house and more travel, but what fun are those things anyway when you are sharing them with someone who casts a pall all over things.

It’s also been a great motivator for me career wise, knowing I would need to increase my income. I’ve gotten multiple promotions in the years leading up to and since my divorce, and I don’t know if I would have worked as hard or gotten them if I was happily married. In a couple more years my income will be similar to our married HHI, even adjusted for inflation.

I’m also in a relationship I am very happy with. Not sure I will remarry ever, but things are going well.

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