Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I personally found that when I was able to understand the ways my parents messed up as parents, accept that it hurt me, and still see them with compassion (but realistically!), I was less stressed and cranky in general including to my kids who didn’t want to put on their shoes. For me the biggest thing was admitting that it was not okay and I wasn’t okay about it and letting myself sit with that. That might be what your wife is envisioning for you.[/quote]

She also seems pretty determined to ignore me when I say all those things. My dad was not a good parent, I don't think he's a bad person. I love him, but I understand that the had a very sad and terrible childhood experience and he simply doesn't think or feel the same way that many of us do. That's not his fault, and i don't blame him, but I also don't feel like it means I should allow him to be hurtful towards me, my children or my wife. I would like to take his best parts and let my children see them, but it can't be separated. It's sad, but I think I've done what I can and I hope he finds peace.

His life did change for the better when he attended 12 step and began absorbing the message of the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. It allowed him to start separating himself from things (and people) who hurt him, but it doesnt' change how hurt he is.

Setting the god part aside, I accept I can't change him, I can change my own relationship with my kids and I need to focus on what I can change and let rest the things that can't. To me, if I find an objectively stressful situation stressful, I should go to PEP or recommit myself to my meditation and spend less time thinking about what I cannot change (my father.)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics