Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

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[quote=Anonymous]I think what your wife is sensing is a problem of “coregulation”—your reactivity in itself affects the whole family unit, even if you manage your anger.

May be helpful : https://childmind.org/article/what-is-co-regulation/?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=pub-ed-nl-2024-06-18&utm_content=what-is-co-regulation

You also seem sad and defensive in your posts, despite so many self-improvement efforts and making brave choices re: FOO. Your wife may earnestly want to you to be happier and more open. The problem with a-hole dads is that they not only make you miserable, they also judge you and make you judge yourself for that misery. It’s this whole cycle of self-consciousness that can make therapy especially uncomfortable.

Your wife probably feels worthy of catharsis and entitled to vent; you may not because of your childhood, I’m not sure.

For your wife, therapy may also be a natural extension of simply being an analytical female who grew up in an emotive family.

For you, its like exploratory surgery with a med student…it’s asking for a huge leap of faith.

My best advice is to think about how you want your children to handle their emotions. Is your own regulation right now helping them or hurting them? If you decide you need help, you need to buckle down for real therapist shopping and wait for a smart one. [/quote]

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