Reply to Husband says he’s been unhappy for a long time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think my husband would have said the same before we went to counseling- that our marriage was happy and our life was so good.

In fact, his life was ideal for HIM and because I didn’t have any space in the relationship.  Everything had to be his preference- vacations, family activities.  He was involved in his sport and going out with friends several nights a week.  We didn’t do date night or even things I like that he doesn’t, even if I asked.  He always had a good reason why what he wants makes sense and what I want is impossible.

You are so lucky that your DH asked to go to counseling instead of dumping you or starting an affair, OP.  Go for the counseling and start thinking really hard about whether DH has been your partner or your prop.[/quote]

But you were able to clearly articulate what your issues were. OP's DH has not done that. Vague resentment + claims that he's been feeling this way for years is a lot more likely to be some kind of midlife crisis/affair, vs. if someone can actually say what's going on. [/quote]

No, I am able to articulate it NOW, after a lot of counseling.  There were other problems as well but that was one of them.

[b]Who would ask for couples counseling in the midst of an affair??  That seems remarkable to me.[/b]

If OP’s DH has asked for counseling (which is a big deal as men usually have the opposite attitude), it means he WANTS to articulate what’s wrong and he wants to fix it.  Dismissing this as some midlife crisis is wrong.  Give him the benefit of the doubt if you feel your marriage is so good.[/quote]

This is more common than you might think. Cheater gets into a relationship and is flooded with feeling of guilt or realizes that they want the marriage after all. [/quote]

Yep. Mine was in over his head and felt there was no way out.  Afraid of what AP might do as he tried to extricate himself, and the stress of that and the lies.  Drinking more in secret.  Rock bottom. Guidance in what to do- how to deal, fear of what would happen when confessed. [/quote]

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