Reply to Husband says he’s been unhappy for a long time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As of last week I would have told you that we had an amazingly strong marriage, but DH recently told me that he’s been unhappy for a long time and wants to go to counseling. We have been married for 15 years and I thought we were a team, parenting, sex 3-4 times a week, lots of loving language and affection.

I feel devastated that he has been holding on to resentment for so long without saying anything. I definitely didn’t think things were perfect but to hear him tell it we were heading towards divorce- and I had no idea. I feel stupid and sad. He also can’t be specific about what resentment he has towards me, so it’s not like I can even start to make changes.

I know the answer is to at least try counseling but has anyone else gone through this? I am really struggling with the fact that he held on to these feelings for so long, I feel betrayed and upset.[/quote]

Rather than feeling like he is a monster and you are an angel, you should ask yourself: Have I been a good partner in this relationship?
The fact that he hasn't said anything to you and wants to go to counseling is an indication that he doesn't feel like you are listening to him. Maybe you are overbearing. Maybe you are always judgmental and have never given him the space to be comfortable to express these things to you. We don't know but you should know.
Good luck.
[/quote]
This is good feedback. Op’s repetition of “we are a team” seems strange too. Through counseling she may just find that the team is actually her husband having to carry her (emotionally, financially, etc) through life and that has caused him to be resentful. [/quote]

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