Reply to Husband says he’s been unhappy for a long time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As of last week I would have told you that we had an amazingly strong marriage, but DH recently told me that he’s been unhappy for a long time and wants to go to counseling. We have been married for 15 years and I thought we were a team, parenting, sex 3-4 times a week, lots of loving language and affection.

I feel devastated that he has been holding on to resentment for so long without saying anything. I definitely didn’t think things were perfect but to hear him tell it we were heading towards divorce- and I had no idea. I feel stupid and sad. He also can’t be specific about what resentment he has towards me, so it’s not like I can even start to make changes.

I know the answer is to at least try counseling but has anyone else gone through this? I am really struggling with the fact that he held on to these feelings for so long, I feel betrayed and upset.[/quote]
I went through something similar.  I had also been married about 15 years and thought my marriage was going reasonably well.  Sure, we had arguments, and things seemed more distant than they used to be.  And my wife had started sleeping in the guest room, but she said it was because I had started snoring again.

Then I woke up one morning and my wife and most of her personal possessions were all gone.  She never said that she was unhappy, never suggested counseling, never said that she thought we were heading for divorce.  She just left.

OP, I don't want to "look on the bright side!" at you in what's a difficult time, but the "good" news is that you have a chance to fix things.  I hope you can.  
[/quote]

Unless you were spending a lot of time together, being affectionate, and having sex 3-4 times a week, it's not similar. I'm not saying your wife shouldn't have communicated better, but she was exiting it sounds like over a period of months. All-of-a-sudden announcing you've been unhappy for years with no signs is something different, and it means the issue is less likely to be about something that OP even can fix.[/quote]

NP- just because OP did not pick up signs does not mean they didn’t exist.

The premise of most threads is that the woman is the good partner and the man is not. [/quote]

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