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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's fine to give gifts with strings attached. I had a kitchen that was truly impossible to cook in and we were very slowly saving for a remodel. My mother gave me some money on the condition that it would be for the new kitchen because she knew how miserable that kitchen made me and how much I love cooking. If we had turned around and spent it on a motorcycle for my husband would that have been fair?[/quote]

This isn’t quite the same as OPs situation. You got what you wanted ( a kitchen) because of money from parents. It wasn’t “a kitchen only if you use so and so contractor” or “kitchen only if it’s wood cabinets and quarts counters.” OP is clear about what they want as a family - to be able to settle elsewhere, but the parents will only gift if they choose an alternative they have stated they don’t want - stay in DC.

but yes, your point stands that parents give strings attached gifts all the time.  In my experience those who do will continue to expect a certain amount of control in your life. So OP like a previous poster said, you need to decide what works best for your family rather than trying to change your parents. If I were you I would not make such a big change in the direction of my life and that of my spouse and children just for an easy way to home ownership. [/quote]

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