Reply to Where to get help? I am running out of money, taking care of my mom.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She’s medically eligible. She lost her ability to swallow and lives on a permanent feeding tube and is also on oxygen.[/quote]

I mean this kindly. Putting in a permanent feeding tube was probably not the way to go. Especially since she is also on oxygen. Both of my siblings are doctors. They adore my parents, but they are adamant that we are not going to put them on feeding tubes. They say they are painful to insert and that quality of life is dreadful. They have discussed this with my parents and have had them fill out DNRs, advanced directive saying no feeding tubes, etc. And my parents have loads of money and we could afford to support them for decades with full time care. Money is not the issue. Quality of life is.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad because if I didn't have doctors in my family I wouldn't have known all this.

But the problem here is your mother should have been allowed to die rather than getting a feeding tube.

I don't know if you are able to take a feeding tube out once it has been inserted. But if you can do that and get her put in hospice and let her die, I think you should. The medical community failed both of you if they didn't explain all of this to you.

This is ruining your life and for what? Your mother's QoL is terrible.[/quote]

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