Reply to Undergoing IVF in a Rocky Marriage

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Undergoing IVF in a Rocky Marriage"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a baby in a bad marriage for similar reasons and don’t regret it for 1 second. I am so happy being a mom and she and I have an amazing relationship (she is 3).

I still hate my husband but have made peace with NOT having “the whole package” and that will be key for you in my opinion if you choose to move forward. [/quote]

I agree with this.  Life is never perfect.  Husbands aren't, kids aren't.

Give up on the perfect life, try to calm yourself, and have a baby.  For many, the kids is the most important goal.

I have a friend who gave up IVF and adopted.  Her marriage was ok at the time.  Everything went spectacularly south when the kids were in elementary school.  One kid has anxiety and struggles in school, the other is hyperactive.  My friend is am educated, intelligent, compassionate person.

[b]My main point is, relationships are kind of a dice roll anyway.[/b]  In the situation you're in, you know what you're facing.  To give that up for an unknown that could be better or worse doesn't make sense to me.

2nd best is to do a bunch of egg freezing, divorce, and try to find a better partner for your needs.  But men don't usually like biological clock pressure.

I'm assuming single motherhood doesn't meet your "want it all" threshold.

I believe there is some chance that the IVF process is worse for your relationship and stress than having a baby.
[/quote]

Have you, “relationships are a dice roll” person, been in a difficult or bad marriage?

No relationship is perfect  but someone who has addiction and emotional regulation issues is throwing out a bunch of red flags for having a child.  Most children add a large amount of stress to a marriage.[/quote]

PP addressed.  [b]I do not need to explain what's imperfect in my life to you, to be qualified enough to share my opinion.  I think I have sufficient experience.[/b]

I am old enough to have seen a lot.  And to have been surprised by a lot.  In both positive and negative directions.  I think many families have red flag tendencies...so I don't rush to judge people for having kids "anyway".  [/quote]

Of course you don’t have to explain yourself.  In fact you don’t need to respond at all.  But I can certainly take your opinion with a grain of salt when you don’t indicate that you have personal experience with what Op is experiencing- the panic of planning for a family with a troubled partner.  We’re all pretty old around her and opinions are like you know what… everybody has one.

This isn’t about idiocracy or society… it’s about OP’s life and the well being of herself and her children.[/quote]

PP. You addressed me specifically in a way intended to cast doubt on the validity of my opinion. It's about you being judgy.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics