Reply to How long do you allow your 9.5 year old to stay home on their own?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is such an interesting and subjective question! I used to work as a CPS worker in VA locality and unless something has changed in the past few years, there was NO legal age limit that you could start leaving your child alone.  It comes down to a bunch of factors including the child (bio/psycho/social/cognitive/emotional needs/skills), knowledge & access to a plan for emergencies, how to stay safe in the home, and call for help (aka a phone), length of time, if they are expected to be a caregiver for younger children, and space.  I haven't seen Fairfax's recommendations but I'll check it out.

I have worked with kids as young as 8-9 years old who went home after school and were home alone for maybe 2-3 hours each afternoon out of necessity BUT they had a phone, they had accessible food/water, they had people nearby that they identified that they could run to for help, and the child felt comfortable and safe.  I have also worked with families with older teens who could NEVER be left alone for ANY reason.

Personally, my older DS will be 9 next month and we haven't left him alone yet.  We began allowing him around 7 to go walk next door to ask the neighbors if they want to play and he is allowed to play in the backyard without an adult outside with him (When he asks permission).  I initially stayed very close but as he's built trust, he is allowed to play without me checking on him for 20-30 min with others.

We will begin practicing leaving him alone for short periods this year (20-30 minutes and we will work up to longer periods over time & we have outside cameras) but we don't have a phone for him to use, so that's something we need to resolve before we can start doing that. [/quote]

OP here and I have actually been more nervous about her walking to friends houses because I don’t have a phone for her to take with her (she has an iPad to text and call and we actually have a landline) and sometimes the other parent doesn’t text to say she’s there or whatever. I am really resisting getting a phone but I do want her to be able to walk to friends houses- it’s a big part of why we picked our neighborhood![/quote]

We got a dumb phone (we call it a burner because we think we’re funny) for our kids to use in that situation. Call me when you get there, or for me to call and say it’s time to come home. It’s not really “a phone” and it lives in a kitchen drawer except when I’m going out or they’re going to play with a friend. Ours was a Jethro, designed for the elderly, and cost about $30 plus $5/mo.[/quote]

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