Reply to Annoying Stay at Home Know Mom Knows It All

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hm. It sounds like she is speaking generally about her personal values. I didn’t see any overt criticism of you in what you posted.

Maybe try not to take everyone’s personal opinions so seriously.

And I say this as someone whose older cousin told her, “I had a breast reduction and it really improved my quality of life. Do you want my doctor’s information?”

That was one of the least offensive things she’s ever said to me, but that’s an example of a passive aggressive offensive opinion sharing.[/quote]

Well, I believe that when she says- over and over- that working moms aren't good moms (when she KNOW I work) she is being more than passive aggressive. No offence, but something like that for most would be a little more inflammatory than the comment you gave as an example. [/quote]

Nobody said that. You stated sil said working moms miss out on crucial time with their kids. That is a fact. You can feel shitty about it or you can say you know what I need to work for xyz. Or I'm a better mom when I'm working and I don't enjoy being mom 24/7. All are fine and valid but it doesn't negate that yes if you're away from your child for 8-10 hours a day and they sleep 10-12 hours a night you are missing out on things. You also don't need to be rich or well off to stay home everyone has priorities. Own yours. [/quote]

I agree with the sentiment people should own their choices, but I don’t think your stated facts are as factual as you make them out to be. Plenty of people work full time and don’t have their kids in 8-10 hours/day of childcare. Most parents stagger and with WAH and hybrid fewer people are commuting.

My DH and I had flexible telework jobs even pre-COVID as did many people we know. Our kids were in childcare about 9-4, so 7 hours per day of which 2 hours they were napping. So off the bat you’re looking at ~25 waking hours. But then oh, the kids would get sick or their preschool would close for a week in the winter and in the summer. And then federal and other random holidays. And we’d take them out for family vacations and grandparent visits. It used to be a running joke that we were paying for full time childcare, but it was rare for both kids to ever actually be there full time M-F.

Also, I know from scaling back my hours during COVID when we were all home all the time that quantity of time doesn’t necessarily equal quality. Even SAHMs have to fold laundry and vacuum and meal prep etc. and most who can afford it end up hiring childcare to get a break to go to the gym or meet up with friends or whatever. (No judgment because we all need breaks)!

Now my kids are school aged and we don’t even need after care because we have always been used to staggering hours and can work within the school day hours. Basically I think modern day flexibilities are closing the disparities in how much time a working parent vs SAHP spends time with their kids. [/quote]

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