Reply to Anxiety over parent “social engineering”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are at a public with lots of mom social engineering. It’s not around wealth at all but it does dictate who plays with who. I’ve had to suck it up and deal with some families I don’t care for just so kid can be part of the crew.

Once they get to middle school next year I think/hope it will become less parent driven. [/quote]

I’m not sure it is social engineering. If a kid is well liked, that kid will be included and invited. If your kid is on the periphery and parents are not part of the school community, that child might not be thought about and invited.

I have 3 kids. My oldest has two friends with divorced parents whose moms are essentially non existent at school. Both boys are very nice boys, athletic and social. I have been driving and paying for the one friend since they were little.

My other kids hang out with mostly involved parents. I don’t pick the friends. My kids pick the friends and I coordinate with parents.

If the kid is shy or weird and parent is weird or antisocial, no one is going out of their way to make plans with these people. If I click or like parents, I may attempt a play date but if kids don’t get along, that friendship is not going anywhere no matter how much I like the parents.[/quote]

It is social engineering in this community. The parents organize almost all activities and social interactions for their kids. I’ve considered distancing myself from the annoying families but we stick it out because my kid likes this group of kids. 
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