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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Does anyone live in a community that is “too much” socially? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My neighborhood is exactly like this and it is so stressful. Truthfully I’m relieved to see this post because I thought it was just me who found it stressful! The constant texting and politics and gatherings and feelings about the gatherings. The groups and subgroups and venn diagrams or groups. Little overt drama but a lot simmering just under the surface. It’s exhausting. People also told me it would calm down in middle school, but it hasn’t. The group has largely stayed together, I think mostly because of the orchestration from the parents. I have definitely started to become the one who backs away but fear my kid being left out because of it. [/quote] My neighborhood turned into this starting in COVID. It is stressful, and it's not relaxing to live somewhere where you have some friends and can generally just relax, but instead are dealing with neighborhood drama. We also live in a small and insular neighborhood in the DC area. Because of it's geographic location, it doesn't just blend into the next neighborhood. Our neighborhood is not wealthy enough for group trips to Napa or the Kentucky Derby, there were formerly group vacations and camping trips to the Outer Banks, lakes, local ski trips. Pre-COVID there was some neighborhood drama, largely centered around one family who tended to be cliquey, gossipy, and generally just create drama. The dad would allude that other fathers were alcoholics, abusive husbands, etc. These people were not - but the dad just didn't like them, and was trying to exclude them and keep other people from hanging out with them. The mom is just a lot of drama, very judgmental towards other kids, etc. Honestly, it took DH and I several years to catch on to this family and what they were doing. During COVID, two more rather similar families moved into the neighborhood with the same age kids. These two new families have quadrupled the drama. Lots more fake niceness, events where the kids run around feral while adults get obnoxiously drunk, group text drama, etc. For me, I saw through one of the new moms when she planned a big drinking party for the neighborhood the night that I was hosting a sleepover for DS's birthday involving neighborhood kids. She actually called me and said something along the lines of, "Oh you don't mind that I'm going to host this fun party, while you're watching all of the boys, do you??? I totally forgot that you'd already planned this." Then at that party, an actual argument broke out between two other moms over some group text drama - which resulted in more group text drama. Things largely simmered along for about 6 months after that, but there was a big falling out created by the original family. I don't want to out myself, but the family at the center of that issue is actually involved in litigation because of it. (No one was injured). At the same, time - my kids have gotten older and are more involved in activities outside of the neighborhood. It is a disappointment though to not really have that atmosphere of kids riding around the neighborhood on bikes in packs, largely due to the social engineering efforts of a few. I have a few good friends, but it's not the environment that I thought it would be. Honestly, if interest rates weren't so high, I would probably move to a more centrally located and larger neighborhood. Even more families have moved to the neighborhood and there is a new large group chat for all of the moms. Full of multiple sub-group chats, fractions, cliques, etc. Many of the kids are younger, I do wonder if it's a repeating cycle and if drama amongst these younger families will also occur. [/quote]
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