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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]The hyperbole about exploding houses and naked grannies running down children in their ‘57 Biscaynes is too much![/b]

Every persons’s situation is different and there is no one size fits all solution.

My sense is that people do best in a facility if (1) they are lucid enough to know they need the help and make the choice willingly; or (2) they are so far out of it that at least most of the time they don’t know the difference.

The one thing that matters most in a care facility is the caretakers. Some of them somehow find a way to include love along with the care. Others do not. And some shouldn’t be allowed to take care of livestock, let alone human beings.

It is true that some patients form social bonds, but I think that the majority of people still capable of that wish they were still living independently. It’s hard to be social surrounded by old, dying, deteriorating people.

“Memory care” has to be among the most cynical marketing labels ever devised.

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I think you must be very lucky. I have been at this many years and have made friends through eldercare support groups and reconnected with old friends over eldercare issues. In just my network we have had a parent burn down the house and cause damage to neighbor's house, get into car accident that injured an innocent human, show up naked at the grandchild's room, walk outside naked, fall down steps and die only to be discovered the next day, become verbally, emotionally and in 1 case physically abusive, the list goes on. The damage done to others is horrifying. If a parent dies living they way he/she wanted that is one thing, but to scar or take another life is horrifying.

I wish I was still naive. I wish I could go back 15 years, maybe 20 before I experienced horror stories and had so many friends who had horror stories.

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