Reply to Should I force my 22 y.o. son to care about his appearance for work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son will be 23 in June and has had multiple launching failures since graduating high school in 2019. He is pleasant, well-mannered, and well-spoken but tends toward laziness and has a pattern of lying. He struggled terribly in school. After high school, he enlisted in the military but dropped out four weeks into boot camp, flunked college, and lost a job last summer with no explanation. Last week, he got a new job with decent pay ($ 17 per hour, full-time). However, he rolls out of bed and gets dressed but is oblivious to his appearance-- hair unkept, raggedy shoes, needs to shave, etc.

I have offered to pay for appearance improvement (haircut, new shoes, etc.) under the condition that he pays me back from his first check. Still, he seems mostly disinterested and oblivious to his appearance, which is why I believe he was let go from his last job.

Since my goal is for him to move out, and another layoff would delay that, should I require him to maintain his appearance, or is that too controlling? [/quote]

What did you, the pediatrician and the school/teachers do for him during k-12 years?

Did he have a neuropsych or any learning disability or mental disorder diagnoses? And then targeted therapies, meds and accommodations?

As for his hygiene and life habits, did these get worse after high school? I don’t get it.

If he’s still moving with you set some House Rules and boundaries, then enforce them. [/quote]

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