Reply to Is it too late for me to ever feel taken care of?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am mid-40s and had a dysfunctional, abusive childhood. My parents also come from dysfunctional, abusive homes and they are what therapists call emotionally immature. I have forgiven them for my childhood. It was what it was.

The upshot is that no one really took care of me when I was young. I had to figure stuff out for myself and look after myself. I got so good at it that as an adult, I was suspicious of people who were very caring and kind. I married a good man but he iss stoic an unemotive. He is a good partner but is not tender and does not caretake with me or the kids. I am the caretaker in my family and I think I'm pretty good at it-- I just give my kids the stuff I know I missed out on and it seems to work well.

I've also been in therapy fory childhood and I have found ways to care for myself and extend kindness to myself. They call it reparenting. I do think it's important and I do that, though it is different than being cared for by someone else.

But as I approach 50, I find myself thinking about how I've never really felt taken care of, and how this still impacts me. I think it would be good for me to  feel cared for in this way, even if only for a time.

Is there a way to feel truly cared for, at my age? Is think I'm going to get a lot of suggestions to go to a spa but I've done that and it's not the same. I am looking for a kind of emotional support, not physical care.

Is this a lost cause? Do I just need to let it go?[/quote]

That's sad, because it is and because you are stuck in past. Past is just a story, move on like an adult. Do self care and/or seek therapy if needed and possible.[/quote]

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