Reply to Is it too late for me to ever feel taken care of?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have a close group of friends?[/quote]

I have some close friends, yes. I can talk to them about serious things and they are there for me if I ask. But I think I self-selected for the people in my life to be kind of self-contained and not the sort to overtly care for friends. Again, because earlier in adulthood I found that behavior so foreign I didn't trust it. I assumed if someone was very caring towards me, it was a lie. I now understand it's not that. I do have one friend who was like that towards me early in our friendship but learned not to be that way because it made me edgy and she respected my boundaries (a great friend!).

But I'm in a different place now and wish I had this experience but it's like a prior version of me arranged my life to ensure no one else takes care of me. I don't know how to undo that.

[/quote]

I had a very bad childhood also, with emotionally immature, addicted, personality disordered abusive parents.

I’ve done therapy extensively and worked out a lot of the why and how and for me, worked past the deep seated belief my parents instilled that I was a bad child who didn’t deserve their time or love.

I also spent my adult life caretaking for others and have not really experienced any in return.

I feel that yearning that you feel and personally, I don’t think it goes away. I don’t think we can totally fix the damage that is caused by not being nurtured in childhood. We can reparent ourselves to a certain extent but we can’t repair entirely our lack of solid attachment in early childhood.

I’m just practicing radical acceptance for how I turned out given all the trauma I experienced, and trying my best to love my persistent insecurities.[/quote]

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