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Adult Children
Reply to "Don't sacrifice everything for your children"
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[quote=Anonymous]I am from the generation where a lot of women gave up their careers to be SAHM's and bitterly resented it and had no problem telling their kids that. My mom had two master's degrees and gave up her teaching career, which she loved when she had three kids. Later, she went back to work as a receptionist at my dad's dentists' office, because it provided more flexibility -- but she bitterly resented having a dumb job that didn't challenge her intellectually. We were well aware of this and we felt really guilty. It was all our fault for wanting piano lessons or whatever. Granted, some of this was probably my mom's mental health issues and maybe there are some remarkably well adjusted women (and men) who can walk away from a rewarding, fulfilling career that they have dreamed about since they were little in order to drive car pool who don't resent it or take it out on their kids -= but it's unreasonable to think that everyone is going to be that selfless. And if you say "Well, anyone who's not that selfless should never have children", well, don't be surprised with the current population declines. [b]It's also difficult as a woman to look at a situation where men still often give up remarkably little and still get to have kids and family fun on vacations, etc. All of the joy and none of the sacrifice.[/b] [/quote] Parents, particularly mothers, of a child with severe disability should especially take heed of these examples: it's all too easy to fall into the trap of putting all of your energy and resources into your disabled son or daughter, and in the early years when there's a chance of real progress such might make sense if you have no other children, but when it's been five or more years and little or no progress has been made, one has to take heed and ask yourself whether you want to be in the exact same place in twenty years or whether you want to have found some measure of happiness and satisfaction in that time because you invested energy and focus in your own development and ambitions. [/quote]
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